Thinking back to my first few weeks of not drinking, I was oblivious to my sobriety. I was more concerned with just getting through the day without picking up a drink. As pitiful as that may sound, at that point in my sobriety I couldn’t handle more than that. I learned over time that if I wanted a chance at continued sobriety I needed something more than just not picking up a drink.
Within those first few weeks the guy who introduced me to AA got me a job that paid minimum wage. I found a cheap room in a boardinghouse where I think I was the only person who didn’t drink. Neither the job nor the room was great incentive not to drink. So why I was so focused on not drinking I have really no idea. As dismal as the situation was, somewhere deep inside I must have thought that my life was better sober than drunk. Boy, I really must have been sick and tried of being sick and tired.
There is a philosophy, which I tend to agree with, that habits cannot be changed, that they can only be replaced. Without knowing it, that is essentially what I had done. The boardinghouse gave me somewhere to go and got me off the streets. The minimum wage job gave me something to do apart from wandering about looking for money so I could drink. And going to the AA meetings replaced going to the bars. I went from thinking about not drinking to thinking about staying sober.
Pardon the sports analogy but there is a big difference between playing to win and playing not to lose. And in sobriety there is a big difference between having reasons for maintaining sobriety and finding reasons for not picking up a drink. It’s really about having a positive versus a negative attitude.
This is not something I thought about while I was trying to gain a foothold in sobriety. However, I did notice that when I had a more positive attitude I felt better about myself and overall things seemed a little bit better.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Monday, September 28, 2009
Debate to lower drinking age builds despite 21's success
Under a banner called the Amethyst Initiative, 130 college presidents are asking the nation to consider lowering the legal drinking age.
"Twenty-one is not working," notes the initiative in its official statement. The group also states that binge drinking by young people continues, despite current laws. The initiative has inspired an informed and dispassionate public debate over the effects of the 21 year-old drinking age.
College presidents have a right to be concerned. Consider these statistics for students between the ages of 18 and 24: Nearly 1,700 die each year from alcohol-related traffic accidents and other unintentional injuries. More than 696,000 are assaulted by students who have been drinking. And 31 percent of students in this age group could be diagnosed as alcohol abusers.
Yet there's no evidence that lowering the drinking age would solve any of these problems. Instead, it would simply give young people easier access to alcohol. In addition, lowering the drinking age would undercut the gains made since 1988, when 21 became the minimum legal drinking age in all 50 states.
Since then, according to the U.S. Department of Transportation, more than 18,000 lives have been saved by decreases in alcohol-related traffic accidents. Those accidents are the leading cause of death in young people.
"The research clearly shows that raising the legal drinking age to 21 saves lives," says Marty Harding, a prevention specialist and director of training and consultation for Hazelden. "When faced with a proposal to undo decades of this progress, why would we do it?"
Recent successes in decreasing college alcohol abuse indicate that the drinking age is not the core issue. Rather, it's the culture of heavy drinking that prevails at many schools.
William Cope Moyers, executive director of Hazelden's Center for Public Advocacy, a binge drinker in college and a recovering alcoholic, recalls that his life was shaped by the drinking culture on his campus.
"What happened to me was caused by the simple fact that alcohol was readily available in an environment where the checks and balances of home life suddenly had vanished," Moyers notes in a recent blog entry. "Drinking was part of the culture on campus, in the fraternity house and at mealtime. That it was legal only helped to foster that culture, especially among newly minted 18-year-old college freshmen like me.
"Twenty-one is not working, according to the college presidents' statement," Moyers adds. "But from my own experiences a long time ago, 18 never worked either."
The drinking culture on any campus is fueled by heavy marketing of cheap alcohol and easier access to the drug--two-for-one drink specials, discounts on beer pitchers, social events sponsored by the alcohol industry, and related tactics. When policymakers target such practices, students drink less.
The Task Force on College Drinking proposes several research-based strategies for changing the culture of heavy drinking:
•Increase the enforcement of current drinking age laws--in particular, through compliance checks on retail alcohol outlets.
•Increase the enforcement of other laws to reduce alcohol-impaired driving, including the current law that sets the blood alcohol limit for adult drivers to .08 percent.
•Use liquor licensing laws to restrict the number of stores that sell alcohol within one mile of a college campus.
•Increase excise taxes on alcoholic beverages, which increases the price of drinking. (A recent study found that excise taxes on alcohol in Alaska resulted in reductions in alcohol-related deaths; also, excise taxes on tobacco products have been effective at decreasing tobacco use among young people.)
•Set clear policies for making and serving alcoholic drinks--for example, standardizing the size of drinks, cutting off sales to intoxicated customers, checking age identification, and eliminating "last call" announcements.
These are among the options supported by another initiative named Support 21 Coalition, which calls for keeping the current legal drinking age. Members of this coalition include Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD), the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety, the American Medical Association, and nine other organizations. MADD (www.madd.org) offers several arguments to support the 21 age law, including the fact that a person's brain continues to develop in to his or her early 20s, and it is particularly vulnerable to damage from alcohol abuse during adolescence.
Any national debate about solutions to college drinking problems is welcome. Let that debate focus on creating new norms for alcohol use among young people--and ways to make the current laws work.
Published December 12, 2008
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Alive & Free is a health column that provides information to help prevent substance abuse problems and address such problems. It is created by Hazelden, a nonprofit agency based in Center City, Minn., that offers a wide range of information and services on addiction. For more resources, email or call Hazelden at 800-257-7810 (outside the US 651-213-4200).
"Twenty-one is not working," notes the initiative in its official statement. The group also states that binge drinking by young people continues, despite current laws. The initiative has inspired an informed and dispassionate public debate over the effects of the 21 year-old drinking age.
College presidents have a right to be concerned. Consider these statistics for students between the ages of 18 and 24: Nearly 1,700 die each year from alcohol-related traffic accidents and other unintentional injuries. More than 696,000 are assaulted by students who have been drinking. And 31 percent of students in this age group could be diagnosed as alcohol abusers.
Yet there's no evidence that lowering the drinking age would solve any of these problems. Instead, it would simply give young people easier access to alcohol. In addition, lowering the drinking age would undercut the gains made since 1988, when 21 became the minimum legal drinking age in all 50 states.
Since then, according to the U.S. Department of Transportation, more than 18,000 lives have been saved by decreases in alcohol-related traffic accidents. Those accidents are the leading cause of death in young people.
"The research clearly shows that raising the legal drinking age to 21 saves lives," says Marty Harding, a prevention specialist and director of training and consultation for Hazelden. "When faced with a proposal to undo decades of this progress, why would we do it?"
Recent successes in decreasing college alcohol abuse indicate that the drinking age is not the core issue. Rather, it's the culture of heavy drinking that prevails at many schools.
William Cope Moyers, executive director of Hazelden's Center for Public Advocacy, a binge drinker in college and a recovering alcoholic, recalls that his life was shaped by the drinking culture on his campus.
"What happened to me was caused by the simple fact that alcohol was readily available in an environment where the checks and balances of home life suddenly had vanished," Moyers notes in a recent blog entry. "Drinking was part of the culture on campus, in the fraternity house and at mealtime. That it was legal only helped to foster that culture, especially among newly minted 18-year-old college freshmen like me.
"Twenty-one is not working, according to the college presidents' statement," Moyers adds. "But from my own experiences a long time ago, 18 never worked either."
The drinking culture on any campus is fueled by heavy marketing of cheap alcohol and easier access to the drug--two-for-one drink specials, discounts on beer pitchers, social events sponsored by the alcohol industry, and related tactics. When policymakers target such practices, students drink less.
The Task Force on College Drinking proposes several research-based strategies for changing the culture of heavy drinking:
•Increase the enforcement of current drinking age laws--in particular, through compliance checks on retail alcohol outlets.
•Increase the enforcement of other laws to reduce alcohol-impaired driving, including the current law that sets the blood alcohol limit for adult drivers to .08 percent.
•Use liquor licensing laws to restrict the number of stores that sell alcohol within one mile of a college campus.
•Increase excise taxes on alcoholic beverages, which increases the price of drinking. (A recent study found that excise taxes on alcohol in Alaska resulted in reductions in alcohol-related deaths; also, excise taxes on tobacco products have been effective at decreasing tobacco use among young people.)
•Set clear policies for making and serving alcoholic drinks--for example, standardizing the size of drinks, cutting off sales to intoxicated customers, checking age identification, and eliminating "last call" announcements.
These are among the options supported by another initiative named Support 21 Coalition, which calls for keeping the current legal drinking age. Members of this coalition include Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD), the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety, the American Medical Association, and nine other organizations. MADD (www.madd.org) offers several arguments to support the 21 age law, including the fact that a person's brain continues to develop in to his or her early 20s, and it is particularly vulnerable to damage from alcohol abuse during adolescence.
Any national debate about solutions to college drinking problems is welcome. Let that debate focus on creating new norms for alcohol use among young people--and ways to make the current laws work.
Published December 12, 2008
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Alive & Free is a health column that provides information to help prevent substance abuse problems and address such problems. It is created by Hazelden, a nonprofit agency based in Center City, Minn., that offers a wide range of information and services on addiction. For more resources, email or call Hazelden at 800-257-7810 (outside the US 651-213-4200).
Saturday, September 26, 2009
TAKING IT ONE DAY AT A TIME WAS ONE DAY TOO LONG
My goal everyday is not to drink just for today. Not tomorrow, not next week, not forever. Just for today. Simple, right? Practically anybody can do that! Come on, its only one day, 24 hours, right? So when I learned that not drinking one-day at a time was one of the foundation slogans of Alcoholics Anonymous, I thought, no problem I can handle that. As frivolous as it was, I stopped drinking all the time. I never realized how long twenty-four hours; one day at a time can be, especially if you’re serious about trying to stop drinking.
In the beginning of my sobriety it took a lot of effort by me not to drink. Many of those first days I just couldn’t shake the urge. There was something inside of me insisting that I needed a drink to survive. Whether I wanted to drink or not had nothing to do with it and taking it one day at a time was one day too long. If I had a chance to succeed at sobriety I needed figure out a way to shorten this one-day at a time idea. Whether it was hours or literally minutes I needed to find something that worked for me.
As I started putting days together I felt that I was accomplishing something. I wasn’t exactly sure what it was, but I did know I didn’t want it all to be for nothing. There were times that I knew I was in jeopardy of not making it through the day without picking up a drink. By breaking the day into smaller pieces enabled me to cope with the urge to drink and maintain my sobriety one small piece at a time.
Early in my sobriety there wasn’t much clarity, but somehow I knew that I did not want to drink There were days and then there were days. Some days it was enough just to let the urge to drink pass. Other days, it just took more effort not to pick up that drink. My hope was by delaying and not giving in to my addiction the urge to drink would pass. And if it meant not picking up that drink hours or minutes a time, so be it.
In the beginning of my sobriety it took a lot of effort by me not to drink. Many of those first days I just couldn’t shake the urge. There was something inside of me insisting that I needed a drink to survive. Whether I wanted to drink or not had nothing to do with it and taking it one day at a time was one day too long. If I had a chance to succeed at sobriety I needed figure out a way to shorten this one-day at a time idea. Whether it was hours or literally minutes I needed to find something that worked for me.
As I started putting days together I felt that I was accomplishing something. I wasn’t exactly sure what it was, but I did know I didn’t want it all to be for nothing. There were times that I knew I was in jeopardy of not making it through the day without picking up a drink. By breaking the day into smaller pieces enabled me to cope with the urge to drink and maintain my sobriety one small piece at a time.
Early in my sobriety there wasn’t much clarity, but somehow I knew that I did not want to drink There were days and then there were days. Some days it was enough just to let the urge to drink pass. Other days, it just took more effort not to pick up that drink. My hope was by delaying and not giving in to my addiction the urge to drink would pass. And if it meant not picking up that drink hours or minutes a time, so be it.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Am I a Victim?
I think of a victim as someone who is suffering the consequences of something they had no control over. So when I was drinking and if you asked me if I thought I was a victim my answer would have been an unequivocal yes. The fact that my life had become unmanageable had nothing to do with me. Oh, I had a litany of reasons or better yet excuses why my life was mess. There was heredity; being abandoned by my so-called friends and my parents of course. Even God Himself had forsaken me. So with all these forces against me what else could I expect? And the drinking, that was my way of coping with it all.
I needed to be in control. Drugs were too unpredictable for me, which is probably why I preferred drinking. When I drank I was in control of what was happening, or so I thought. I didn’t view those occasional moments of temporary sanity as opportunities to change my life for the better. They only validated my belief that I could control my drinking, and therefore drinking was not the problem.
In AA I learned to accept my alcoholism. Whether I believed my alcoholism was a disease or not was irrelevant. Even why I became an alcoholic had nothing to do with my sobriety. As an alcoholic I understood that I was in control as long as I didn’t pick up that first drink. Picking up that first drink meant I was turning control of my life back over to my addiction. And only I could make that decision.
With this new found sobriety my life became more manageable so it was easy for me to think that I was back in control. I needed to be aware of anything that gave me reason to question my alcoholism. In sobriety I learned that I was responsible for my actions. To keep my sobriety I could not consider myself a victim. If those thoughts became persistent, my bad thinking would eventually victimize me, and I would drink again. It was my choice.
I needed to be in control. Drugs were too unpredictable for me, which is probably why I preferred drinking. When I drank I was in control of what was happening, or so I thought. I didn’t view those occasional moments of temporary sanity as opportunities to change my life for the better. They only validated my belief that I could control my drinking, and therefore drinking was not the problem.
In AA I learned to accept my alcoholism. Whether I believed my alcoholism was a disease or not was irrelevant. Even why I became an alcoholic had nothing to do with my sobriety. As an alcoholic I understood that I was in control as long as I didn’t pick up that first drink. Picking up that first drink meant I was turning control of my life back over to my addiction. And only I could make that decision.
With this new found sobriety my life became more manageable so it was easy for me to think that I was back in control. I needed to be aware of anything that gave me reason to question my alcoholism. In sobriety I learned that I was responsible for my actions. To keep my sobriety I could not consider myself a victim. If those thoughts became persistent, my bad thinking would eventually victimize me, and I would drink again. It was my choice.
Monday, September 21, 2009
CHOOSING AN ALCOHOL RESPONSIBLE COLLEGE
“An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.” Unknown author
The following is a check list you may want to carry with you to help you gain an objective overview of the school(s) you investigate.
1. What are the school’s written policies on alcohol use on campus?
2. What are the school’s written policies on alcohol use in dorms?
3. What written security and emergency supports are available to students who drink alcohol?
4. What are the school’s written policies on heavy or binge drinking in fraternities and/or sororities?
5. What are the school’s written policies on pledge drinking, whether voluntary or involuntary, in fraternities and/or sororities?
6. Does the school consistently provide “safe rides” to students who need them for any reason?
7. Does the school have a “No Friday classes” policy? These have been found to encourage heavy drinking since students are free for three day weekends.
8. How much problems have students who abstain from drinking had on campus. Ask for a printed statistical list of offenses reported to the campus police. Remember, the number may be slightly higher because some offenses may not have been reported.
9. Check with the local police about reported offenses resulting from heavy drinking or binge drinking on campus.
10. How many and what kind of non-alcoholic activities are sponsored by the school and how often?
11. Does the school have a diverse student population? It’s been found that schools with a diverse student population, combining different races, genders, and age groups have less alcohol abuse.
12. Are there any chapels/churches/youth groups on campus and are they well attended at that college?
The following is a check list you may want to carry with you to help you gain an objective overview of the school(s) you investigate.
1. What are the school’s written policies on alcohol use on campus?
2. What are the school’s written policies on alcohol use in dorms?
3. What written security and emergency supports are available to students who drink alcohol?
4. What are the school’s written policies on heavy or binge drinking in fraternities and/or sororities?
5. What are the school’s written policies on pledge drinking, whether voluntary or involuntary, in fraternities and/or sororities?
6. Does the school consistently provide “safe rides” to students who need them for any reason?
7. Does the school have a “No Friday classes” policy? These have been found to encourage heavy drinking since students are free for three day weekends.
8. How much problems have students who abstain from drinking had on campus. Ask for a printed statistical list of offenses reported to the campus police. Remember, the number may be slightly higher because some offenses may not have been reported.
9. Check with the local police about reported offenses resulting from heavy drinking or binge drinking on campus.
10. How many and what kind of non-alcoholic activities are sponsored by the school and how often?
11. Does the school have a diverse student population? It’s been found that schools with a diverse student population, combining different races, genders, and age groups have less alcohol abuse.
12. Are there any chapels/churches/youth groups on campus and are they well attended at that college?
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Am I Different?
When I was introduced to Alcoholics Anonymous, I wasn’t really sure what an alcoholic was. Alcoholics were the upscale people who really enjoyed drinking. The executives who enjoyed a few cocktails at lunch that was my perception of what it meant to be an alcoholic. And on the weekends in their blue blazers, button down shirts, khaki slacks, and their ever present glass in hand.
Me, I fell more into the loser category. Sure I drank and ended up homeless and unemployable. Without drinking, what would I do? When I was asked if I thought I was an alcoholic my obvious answer was no. If memory serves me, I did do quite well on the pop quiz and agreed to go to an AA meeting that night. To be called an alcoholic, I should be so lucky. Without realizing it, I guess I was an alcoholic wannabe.
Most of us think we are different. I certainly did. True, we may have different drinking patterns, but as alcoholics our problems are very similar. At my first AA meeting I really don’t remember what was said, but I do remember saying to myself, yep did that, or yep that something I would do. What I was doing was identifying with the speakers.
One of the things that AA tells you is to identify and not compare. This is very important in maintaining sobriety. When you start to compare yourself to other alcoholics what you are doing is looking to justify why you are different and to create reasons why you don’t belong. It’s delusional the think that just because you weren’t as bad as or suffered lesser consequences as another alcoholic that you don’t have a problem.
Identifying with other alcoholics not only reinforces your acceptance of your disease it also enhancing your feeling of belonging.
Me, I fell more into the loser category. Sure I drank and ended up homeless and unemployable. Without drinking, what would I do? When I was asked if I thought I was an alcoholic my obvious answer was no. If memory serves me, I did do quite well on the pop quiz and agreed to go to an AA meeting that night. To be called an alcoholic, I should be so lucky. Without realizing it, I guess I was an alcoholic wannabe.
Most of us think we are different. I certainly did. True, we may have different drinking patterns, but as alcoholics our problems are very similar. At my first AA meeting I really don’t remember what was said, but I do remember saying to myself, yep did that, or yep that something I would do. What I was doing was identifying with the speakers.
One of the things that AA tells you is to identify and not compare. This is very important in maintaining sobriety. When you start to compare yourself to other alcoholics what you are doing is looking to justify why you are different and to create reasons why you don’t belong. It’s delusional the think that just because you weren’t as bad as or suffered lesser consequences as another alcoholic that you don’t have a problem.
Identifying with other alcoholics not only reinforces your acceptance of your disease it also enhancing your feeling of belonging.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
But I Was Being Responsible – Really!
Being responsible? I had an addiction problem and it was my only responsibility. And believe me, it made sure that I was always aware of that fact. Nothing else mattered, including my well being. As long as my addiction was satisfied everything was fine, in a macabre sort of way. If I thought my life was unmanageable while trying to satisfy my addiction, it became unbearable if I didn’t. There’s a saying, “Hell as no wrath like a women scorned”. Well try ignoring your addiction and see what happens! It makes a “women scorned” seem like a walk in the park, even for the women. Looking back, I am still amazed how my life became so consumed by my addiction. How I thought my only responsibility was to try and keep it satisfied. Being responsible and addiction don’t go together.
Those of you that are dealing with a substance abuse and or an addiction problem can appreciate what I’m saying. Your “problem” strips away your reasoning and with it your ability to make rational decisions. This thing of ours transforms us into servants. And like any worthwhile servant, our primary obligation is to serve our master. Unfortunately for us, we fulfill this responsibility quite well. In order to keep our master happy, our addiction limits our choices to one, to satisfy it. We forfeit our right to choose and relinquish all other responsibilities in order to meet our master’s relentless demands. In order to survive, we must become the ultimate humble servant.
It has been argued that it is impossible to eliminate any type of behavior. That behavior can only be changed and not eliminated. That being said, the only hope we have then for salvation is to replace our negative or unwanted behavior with a more positive or desirable type of behavior. It is this same reasoning that can effectively restore us to sanity and to “being responsible” again. What I learned from my 12 Step Program was, in order to be successful in my recovery I needed to work the program. I needed try to give the same attention to my recovery as I did to my addiction. So what does this have to do with being responsible?
In order to be successful in my recovery, I needed to change the focus of my behavior. I had to change from being totally subservient to my addiction to being responsible to myself. This is easier said than done. There was no way that my addiction was going to give up control without a fight. If there was going to be fight between my addiction and me, my addiction would win, easily. My addiction was the master and I was the humble, abiding servant. I didn’t have a chance. I needed to replace the focus of my behavior from my addiction to something more desirable: something more positive.
By “working the program” I began to develop as sense of obligation to those individuals who were helping me with my recovery. As I shared my experiences of addiction and recovery with others, this sense of obligation became even more compelling. I started to feel better about myself. I was in fact becoming a new person, almost like being reborn. I was feeling clean, in the sense of being rid of the lies, deceit, disappointment, and despair that consumed my life. That sense of obligation was developing into a sense of responsibility. A responsibility not only to those that were helping me, but to those I was hopefully helping as well. Now, I could not let my addiction win out. The responsibility I had to my addiction was being replaced by my responsibility to my recovery. If I was to allow my addiction to win out, I would let everyone down. Not only those who helped me, but more importantly those I had helped. My life would in fact be nothing more than a sham. Nothing more than a life full of lies, deceit, and continued disappointment and despair. Nothing would have changed. As a matter of fact, I felt that if I let my addiction win out, I would become an even more despicable person than I was before, if that was even possible. And worse yet, I saw no way out, short of dying.
Fortunately, what I came to understand was that I had an obligation of being responsible for my actions; that others depended on it. I was responsible for maintaining my recovery as an example to those working on their own recovery. We are all responsible for helping each other; even if it’s only by example. By allowing the natural sense of obligation I felt towards those who were helping me with my recovery to develop, I was able to develop a sense of obligation and responsibility to myself as well as for others. This was the stronger more positive focus that enabled me to break from my subservient role to my addiction to accepting being responsibility of my actions.
Those of you that are dealing with a substance abuse and or an addiction problem can appreciate what I’m saying. Your “problem” strips away your reasoning and with it your ability to make rational decisions. This thing of ours transforms us into servants. And like any worthwhile servant, our primary obligation is to serve our master. Unfortunately for us, we fulfill this responsibility quite well. In order to keep our master happy, our addiction limits our choices to one, to satisfy it. We forfeit our right to choose and relinquish all other responsibilities in order to meet our master’s relentless demands. In order to survive, we must become the ultimate humble servant.
It has been argued that it is impossible to eliminate any type of behavior. That behavior can only be changed and not eliminated. That being said, the only hope we have then for salvation is to replace our negative or unwanted behavior with a more positive or desirable type of behavior. It is this same reasoning that can effectively restore us to sanity and to “being responsible” again. What I learned from my 12 Step Program was, in order to be successful in my recovery I needed to work the program. I needed try to give the same attention to my recovery as I did to my addiction. So what does this have to do with being responsible?
In order to be successful in my recovery, I needed to change the focus of my behavior. I had to change from being totally subservient to my addiction to being responsible to myself. This is easier said than done. There was no way that my addiction was going to give up control without a fight. If there was going to be fight between my addiction and me, my addiction would win, easily. My addiction was the master and I was the humble, abiding servant. I didn’t have a chance. I needed to replace the focus of my behavior from my addiction to something more desirable: something more positive.
By “working the program” I began to develop as sense of obligation to those individuals who were helping me with my recovery. As I shared my experiences of addiction and recovery with others, this sense of obligation became even more compelling. I started to feel better about myself. I was in fact becoming a new person, almost like being reborn. I was feeling clean, in the sense of being rid of the lies, deceit, disappointment, and despair that consumed my life. That sense of obligation was developing into a sense of responsibility. A responsibility not only to those that were helping me, but to those I was hopefully helping as well. Now, I could not let my addiction win out. The responsibility I had to my addiction was being replaced by my responsibility to my recovery. If I was to allow my addiction to win out, I would let everyone down. Not only those who helped me, but more importantly those I had helped. My life would in fact be nothing more than a sham. Nothing more than a life full of lies, deceit, and continued disappointment and despair. Nothing would have changed. As a matter of fact, I felt that if I let my addiction win out, I would become an even more despicable person than I was before, if that was even possible. And worse yet, I saw no way out, short of dying.
Fortunately, what I came to understand was that I had an obligation of being responsible for my actions; that others depended on it. I was responsible for maintaining my recovery as an example to those working on their own recovery. We are all responsible for helping each other; even if it’s only by example. By allowing the natural sense of obligation I felt towards those who were helping me with my recovery to develop, I was able to develop a sense of obligation and responsibility to myself as well as for others. This was the stronger more positive focus that enabled me to break from my subservient role to my addiction to accepting being responsibility of my actions.
Monday, September 14, 2009
Parental Monitoring in High School Significantly Impacts College Drinking
A recent study of more than 1,200 first year college students revealed that parental monitoring in their senior year of high school significantly impacted their college alcohol consumption. Moreover, the National Institute on Drug Abuse reported in their February 27, 2009 issue of the Addiction Research News, the study results showed the amount that students drank in high school was a significant predictor for drinking in college.
Interviewers asked the students about their college living situation, high school and college alcohol consumption and their perceptions of their parental monitoring during their last year in high school, such as being required to tell their parents of their plans and having consequences for breaking curfew. The higher levels of parental monitoring were associated with less alcohol consumption in high school regardless of the students’ race, sex, or importance of religion in their lives.
“Too many Americans consider underage drinking a rite of passage to adulthood”, said Acting Surgeon General Kenneth Moritsugu, M.D., M.P.H., on March 7, 2007. Although there has been a significant decline in tobacco and illicit drug use, underage drinking has remained at consistently high levels. And binge drinking --- drinking 5 drinks or more on one occasion --- now starts at age 13 and peaks at ages 18-22.
What’s even more frightening is that binge drinking is common among high school students in the United States. Moreover, their binge drinking is strongly associated with sexual activity, violence, and other risky behaviors according to a study published in the January 2007 issue of Pediatrics.
What’s worse, drinking games, usually done behind closed doors, are now done in public, despite laws against drinking in public and arrests made for this offense. “Too many student’s are getting the message that excessive drinking is okay, “ say Carol Falkowski, Director of Research Communications for the Hazelden Foundation, a well recognized addiction treatment and research facility. “It’s getting more intense. Drinking games that were happening in private parties or houses or bonfires 10 years ago are now happening in public venues. That to me reflects a sort of larger acceptance of extreme drinking.”
NIAAA – National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism
A Snapshot of Annual High-Risk College Drinking Consequences
The consequences of excessive and underage drinking affect virtually all college campuses, college communities, and college students, whether they choose to drink or not.
• Death: 1,700 college students between the ages of 18 and 24 die each year from alcohol-related unintentional injuries, including motor vehicle crashes (Hingson et al., 2005).
• Injury: 599,000 students between the ages of 18 and 24 are unintentionally injured under the influence of alcohol (Hingson et al., 2005).
• Assault: More than 696,000 students between the ages of 18 and 24 are assaulted by another student who has been drinking (Hingson et al., 2005).
• Sexual Abuse: More than 97,000 students between the ages of 18 and 24 are victims of alcohol-related sexual assault or date rape (Hingson et al., 2005).
• Unsafe Sex: 400,000 students between the ages of 18 and 24 had unprotected sex and more than 100,000 students between the ages of 18 and 24 report having been too intoxicated to know if they consented to having sex (Hingson et al., 2002).
• Academic Problems: About 25 percent of college students report academic consequences of their drinking including missing class, falling behind, doing poorly on exams or papers, and receiving lower grades overall (Engs et al., 1996; Presley et al., 1996a, 1996b; Wechsler et al., 2002).
• Health Problems/Suicide Attempts: More than 150,000 students develop an alcohol-related health problem (Hingson et al., 2002) and between 1.2 and 1.5 percent of students indicate that they tried to commit suicide within the past year due to drinking or drug use (Presley et al., 1998).
• Drunk Driving: 2.1 million students between the ages of 18 and 24 drove under the influence of alcohol last year (Hingson et al., 2002).
• Vandalism: About 11 percent of college student drinkers report that they have damaged property while under the influence of alcohol (Wechsler et al., 2002).
• Property Damage: More than 25 percent of administrators from schools with relatively low drinking levels and over 50 percent from schools with high drinking levels say their campuses have a "moderate" or "major" problem with alcohol-related property damage (Wechsler et al., 1995).
• Police Involvement: About 5 percent of 4-year college students are involved with the police or campus security as a result of their drinking (Wechsler et al., 2002) and an estimated 110,000 students between the ages of 18 and 24 are arrested for an alcohol-related violation such as public drunkenness or driving under the influence (Hingson et al., 2002).
• Alcohol Abuse and Dependence: 31 percent of college students met criteria for a diagnosis of alcohol abuse and 6 percent for a diagnosis of alcohol dependence in the past 12 months, according to questionnaire-based self-reports about their drinking (Knight et al., 2002).
Interviewers asked the students about their college living situation, high school and college alcohol consumption and their perceptions of their parental monitoring during their last year in high school, such as being required to tell their parents of their plans and having consequences for breaking curfew. The higher levels of parental monitoring were associated with less alcohol consumption in high school regardless of the students’ race, sex, or importance of religion in their lives.
“Too many Americans consider underage drinking a rite of passage to adulthood”, said Acting Surgeon General Kenneth Moritsugu, M.D., M.P.H., on March 7, 2007. Although there has been a significant decline in tobacco and illicit drug use, underage drinking has remained at consistently high levels. And binge drinking --- drinking 5 drinks or more on one occasion --- now starts at age 13 and peaks at ages 18-22.
What’s even more frightening is that binge drinking is common among high school students in the United States. Moreover, their binge drinking is strongly associated with sexual activity, violence, and other risky behaviors according to a study published in the January 2007 issue of Pediatrics.
What’s worse, drinking games, usually done behind closed doors, are now done in public, despite laws against drinking in public and arrests made for this offense. “Too many student’s are getting the message that excessive drinking is okay, “ say Carol Falkowski, Director of Research Communications for the Hazelden Foundation, a well recognized addiction treatment and research facility. “It’s getting more intense. Drinking games that were happening in private parties or houses or bonfires 10 years ago are now happening in public venues. That to me reflects a sort of larger acceptance of extreme drinking.”
NIAAA – National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism
A Snapshot of Annual High-Risk College Drinking Consequences
The consequences of excessive and underage drinking affect virtually all college campuses, college communities, and college students, whether they choose to drink or not.
• Death: 1,700 college students between the ages of 18 and 24 die each year from alcohol-related unintentional injuries, including motor vehicle crashes (Hingson et al., 2005).
• Injury: 599,000 students between the ages of 18 and 24 are unintentionally injured under the influence of alcohol (Hingson et al., 2005).
• Assault: More than 696,000 students between the ages of 18 and 24 are assaulted by another student who has been drinking (Hingson et al., 2005).
• Sexual Abuse: More than 97,000 students between the ages of 18 and 24 are victims of alcohol-related sexual assault or date rape (Hingson et al., 2005).
• Unsafe Sex: 400,000 students between the ages of 18 and 24 had unprotected sex and more than 100,000 students between the ages of 18 and 24 report having been too intoxicated to know if they consented to having sex (Hingson et al., 2002).
• Academic Problems: About 25 percent of college students report academic consequences of their drinking including missing class, falling behind, doing poorly on exams or papers, and receiving lower grades overall (Engs et al., 1996; Presley et al., 1996a, 1996b; Wechsler et al., 2002).
• Health Problems/Suicide Attempts: More than 150,000 students develop an alcohol-related health problem (Hingson et al., 2002) and between 1.2 and 1.5 percent of students indicate that they tried to commit suicide within the past year due to drinking or drug use (Presley et al., 1998).
• Drunk Driving: 2.1 million students between the ages of 18 and 24 drove under the influence of alcohol last year (Hingson et al., 2002).
• Vandalism: About 11 percent of college student drinkers report that they have damaged property while under the influence of alcohol (Wechsler et al., 2002).
• Property Damage: More than 25 percent of administrators from schools with relatively low drinking levels and over 50 percent from schools with high drinking levels say their campuses have a "moderate" or "major" problem with alcohol-related property damage (Wechsler et al., 1995).
• Police Involvement: About 5 percent of 4-year college students are involved with the police or campus security as a result of their drinking (Wechsler et al., 2002) and an estimated 110,000 students between the ages of 18 and 24 are arrested for an alcohol-related violation such as public drunkenness or driving under the influence (Hingson et al., 2002).
• Alcohol Abuse and Dependence: 31 percent of college students met criteria for a diagnosis of alcohol abuse and 6 percent for a diagnosis of alcohol dependence in the past 12 months, according to questionnaire-based self-reports about their drinking (Knight et al., 2002).
Saturday, September 12, 2009
I Must Have Stopped a 1,000 Times
Willpower, I had plenty. I could stop any time I wanted. You don’t believe me? Just ask! I can tell you point blank, I must have stopped at least a thousand times. The difficulty for me was not stopping. That was easy. As I’ve told you, I’ve must have done it a thousand times. Oh, I stopped for women, for jobs, for family, for friends, or just to show you I could. If I thought it would make you happy, I had no problem stopping. Sometimes I even did for spite; just to show you I could and exactly how much willpower I had. Believe me it was no big deal. Stopping was easy. Like I said, I must have done it a thousand times.
But, how long did the stopping last? Most of the time it lasted just long enough for me to prove my point, that I could stop anytime I wanted. That I had no problem and that I had the willpower to stop whenever I wanted. Anyway, haven’t I stopped every time you asked? So back off and leave me alone!
Obviously, there was a problem. It was very frustrating for me. Aside from stopping a thousand times, I started up again a thousand times as well. And many of those times I was back doing my thing without even realizing it. It certainly was more times than I was willing to admit to either you or myself. I was very disappointed and questioned my own ability to control my own life. But again, I certainly wasn’t going to share that with you either. That would just a be sign of weakness and I just couldn’t do it. If I did there was no telling what might happen. I just couldn’t take that chance. Instead I just came to accept the fact that this was my destiny. As much as may have protested otherwise, I knew my life was mess. Contrary to my arrogance, I knew that I was a total failure and that I was too weak willed to do anything to change it. I came to accept a life to be lived in utter despair.
I thought I had the will to make choices and carry them out. The problem was my compulsion had taken my will hostage. The choices that were being made on my behalf were the wrong choices. It seemed like the more I tried to take control the more my compulsion controlled my will and the more I continued making the wrong choices. Deep down I knew that my life was unmanageable. I knew that I was far from perfect and that I had make mistakes. I knew that I was a disappointment to my family and friends. What I didn’t know and couldn’t figure out was what I did that was so terrible that caused me to receive such a cruel punishment. I knew a lot of things, or so I thought, but the one thing I most wanted to know was Why Me? Why was I destined to live this life of complete despair?
I was raised to believe in God, and I did. What I could not understand is why He had forsaken me. So when I went to my first meeting at a 12 Step Program, and it was suggested that I turn my will and my life over to the care of God, I wasn’t so sure about that. He had already blown me off. I didn’t need to tell you that. All you had to do as take one look at my life. It was blatantly obvious. But I also understood that my life was unmanageable and that I needed to restore some sense of sanity to it. I needed to recapture my will and start making better choices. I needed to regain my ability to choose. I wasn’t sure about how to do that, and I didn’t think God was the answer.
Since my life was a mess and I had nothing better to do I decided to give this 12 Step Program a shot. If nothing else, it gave me somewhere to go, with something to do with nothing to lose. The guys that took me under their wing worked a very simple program, of abstinence, go to meetings, and live your life one day and a time. They promised me nothing. The only thing they told me was, if I did what they said things would get better. They never explained what things or how much better. I guess I was really sick and tried of being sick and tried, because, in spite of my craving to be in control, I did exactly what they told me to do. And almost without me knowing it, things did get better. What things specifically, I don’t know. Just little things happened without me realizing it. Looking back, it’s still amazes me that it worked. In fact, by doing what they told me to do, I was taking back control of my will from my compulsion. With that I regained my ability to make better choices and carry them out. They always weren’t the right choices. But at least the reasoning was sane and I had the ability to change if it didn’t work out.
I guess, for the beginning of my recovery at least, those guys and that 12 Step Program was my higher power. Initially, I had turned my will and my life over to them. Admittedly, these guys made my life manageable. By following their direction they restored me to sanity.
Eventually I came to realize that being strong willed and having willpower was not necessarily the same thing. By regaining control of my will, I regained my ability to make better choices and the ability to carry them through. More importantly, I wasn’t trapped with having made the wrong choice. I now had the ability to change it.
But, how long did the stopping last? Most of the time it lasted just long enough for me to prove my point, that I could stop anytime I wanted. That I had no problem and that I had the willpower to stop whenever I wanted. Anyway, haven’t I stopped every time you asked? So back off and leave me alone!
Obviously, there was a problem. It was very frustrating for me. Aside from stopping a thousand times, I started up again a thousand times as well. And many of those times I was back doing my thing without even realizing it. It certainly was more times than I was willing to admit to either you or myself. I was very disappointed and questioned my own ability to control my own life. But again, I certainly wasn’t going to share that with you either. That would just a be sign of weakness and I just couldn’t do it. If I did there was no telling what might happen. I just couldn’t take that chance. Instead I just came to accept the fact that this was my destiny. As much as may have protested otherwise, I knew my life was mess. Contrary to my arrogance, I knew that I was a total failure and that I was too weak willed to do anything to change it. I came to accept a life to be lived in utter despair.
I thought I had the will to make choices and carry them out. The problem was my compulsion had taken my will hostage. The choices that were being made on my behalf were the wrong choices. It seemed like the more I tried to take control the more my compulsion controlled my will and the more I continued making the wrong choices. Deep down I knew that my life was unmanageable. I knew that I was far from perfect and that I had make mistakes. I knew that I was a disappointment to my family and friends. What I didn’t know and couldn’t figure out was what I did that was so terrible that caused me to receive such a cruel punishment. I knew a lot of things, or so I thought, but the one thing I most wanted to know was Why Me? Why was I destined to live this life of complete despair?
I was raised to believe in God, and I did. What I could not understand is why He had forsaken me. So when I went to my first meeting at a 12 Step Program, and it was suggested that I turn my will and my life over to the care of God, I wasn’t so sure about that. He had already blown me off. I didn’t need to tell you that. All you had to do as take one look at my life. It was blatantly obvious. But I also understood that my life was unmanageable and that I needed to restore some sense of sanity to it. I needed to recapture my will and start making better choices. I needed to regain my ability to choose. I wasn’t sure about how to do that, and I didn’t think God was the answer.
Since my life was a mess and I had nothing better to do I decided to give this 12 Step Program a shot. If nothing else, it gave me somewhere to go, with something to do with nothing to lose. The guys that took me under their wing worked a very simple program, of abstinence, go to meetings, and live your life one day and a time. They promised me nothing. The only thing they told me was, if I did what they said things would get better. They never explained what things or how much better. I guess I was really sick and tried of being sick and tried, because, in spite of my craving to be in control, I did exactly what they told me to do. And almost without me knowing it, things did get better. What things specifically, I don’t know. Just little things happened without me realizing it. Looking back, it’s still amazes me that it worked. In fact, by doing what they told me to do, I was taking back control of my will from my compulsion. With that I regained my ability to make better choices and carry them out. They always weren’t the right choices. But at least the reasoning was sane and I had the ability to change if it didn’t work out.
I guess, for the beginning of my recovery at least, those guys and that 12 Step Program was my higher power. Initially, I had turned my will and my life over to them. Admittedly, these guys made my life manageable. By following their direction they restored me to sanity.
Eventually I came to realize that being strong willed and having willpower was not necessarily the same thing. By regaining control of my will, I regained my ability to make better choices and the ability to carry them through. More importantly, I wasn’t trapped with having made the wrong choice. I now had the ability to change it.
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