Replacing Habits

Thinking back to my first few weeks of not drinking, I was oblivious to my sobriety. I was more concerned with just getting through the day without picking up a drink. As pitiful as that may sound, at that point in my sobriety I couldn’t handle more than that. I learned over time that if I wanted a chance at continued sobriety I needed something more than just not picking up a drink.

Within those first few weeks the guy who introduced me to AA got me a job that paid minimum wage. I found a cheap room in a boardinghouse where I think I was the only person who didn’t drink. Neither the job nor the room was great incentive not to drink. So why I was so focused on not drinking I have really no idea. As dismal as the situation was, somewhere deep inside I must have thought that my life was better sober than drunk. Boy, I really must have been sick and tried of being sick and tired.

There is a philosophy, which I tend to agree with, that habits cannot be changed, that they can only be replaced. Without knowing it, that is essentially what I had done. The boardinghouse gave me somewhere to go and got me off the streets. The minimum wage job gave me something to do apart from wandering about looking for money so I could drink. And going to the AA meetings replaced going to the bars. I went from thinking about not drinking to thinking about staying sober.

Pardon the sports analogy but there is a big difference between playing to win and playing not to lose. And in sobriety there is a big difference between having reasons for maintaining sobriety and finding reasons for not picking up a drink. It’s really about having a positive versus a negative attitude.

This is not something I thought about while I was trying to gain a foothold in sobriety. However, I did notice that when I had a more positive attitude I felt better about myself and overall things seemed a little bit better.