Some people like to argue that the problem with alcoholism and teenage drinking lies with the alcoholic, not the people around him or her. They are the person who needs to do the changing. They are the person who needs to do the work to get their life back in control. And to an extent, that is true.
But try telling that to a parent with the child who has a problem with drinking. The truth is it is hard to see a loved one go through problems with drinking alcohol. Not just for the person who was abusing alcohol, but also for all the people who live with that person.
The teenage years are particularly worrisome for any parent. Children are pushing forward with new found autonomy. The struggle between keeping a child safe and allowing them the room to grow and become independent people in the outside world is a tough balancing act for any parent. Add the fact that some teenagers start experimenting with drugs and alcohol, and it only increases a parent's worry.
When a parent suspects that their child is using alcohol either occasionally or frequently, the first reaction is to pull that child back into the house and prevent them from being exposed to the influences, whether they are due to the media or through newfound friends. But that would be a mistake. Most parents know that although they don't like the sense that they are losing control over their teenager's behavior, it is a part of growing up. That doesn't mean a parent is powerless when a child is using alcohol.
Parents: Whether the parents of the teenage drinker are still married or living apart, many times the struggle with a teenage drinker will carry over into the parents' relationship. Parents begin to argue over the best way to handle a problem situation with a child who is partaking in underage drinking. They may or may not agree regarding the best course of action for their child. They may also blame the other parent for their actions in either not doing enough to stop the problem with their teenage drinker, or being overprotective and enabling them.
Having a teenage drinker can create a tremendous strain on the marriage and many times it only becomes an excuse for a teenager to drink more as a way of escaping his or her parent's struggles.
Parents should show a united front when dealing with the problems they face with a teen that is drinking alcohol or using drugs. No matter how they feel about either person's actions, it is important for the teenager to know that both parents are on the same page regarding their feelings over the teen's use of alcohol. While everyone deals with stress and emotional turmoil differently, some turning to silence while others feel the need to vent, the message that both parents send should be loud and clear. Let your child know that you love them, support them, but do not approve of underage drinking.
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