Does your child need intervention?

If so, you need to speak to your spouse as soon as possible to decide how and when you will do this, and as quickly as possible. Forget detachment; you wouldn’t stand outside the door while the house was burning down waiting for your child to wake up and run out. So don’t do that now. Interfere all you want. If there is evidence that your child is abusing alcohol, intervene in the most effective way possible to help your child do what they can’t think straight enough to do on their own right now. And yes, Mom and Dad, that sometimes means enrolling your underage child in a treatment program without their permission.

A warning about this. There are treatment programs and there are treatment programs. You are legally entitled to enroll your child in a medical treatment program without his or her consent if they are underage. However, before you do this, I strongly suggest you first ensure that the program you choose adheres to laws that protect the child from any kind of abuse.

If the live in facility is privately owned and operated, you can check the reputation of the program with licensing authorities, any physicians connected with the program with medical licensing and board certification authorities, with local police departments, with former clients and their parents, and by reading every word, no matter how tiny, in their literature and any contract. I would sincerely question any contract that requires large sums (like a year’s costs) upfront and has a contract with a clause that says you forfeit all the money if you withdraw your child before they approve this move. This can lock you into feeling you can’t remove your child.

I would also assure that you will have opportunities to visit with your child ALONE so that if any abuse is taking place, you can be alerted by your child.

You may be feeling desperate at this point, but doing your research is your responsibility to your child and to your role as a parent. Never put your child in a program that seems too good to be true. It may be just that.

However, there are wonderful, successful programs that have been in existence for decades without scandal or any hint of child abuse.